NPR's Allison Aubrey did a report recently on weight loss wagers as one of the newest trends in shedding pounds. A person would “wager” an amount each month over a period of time that they would lose a certain amount of weight. After the allotted time, if they reached their goal they doubled their money. If they did not, they lost all that they had wagered.
This is a new trend so there is not enough data to say that it is effective in the long run, but it does demonstrate something very important about motivation. I can set all the goals I want. I can read all the books and find all the latest diet fads, but unless something motivates me to put the donuts down and eat better, I will not lose weight. Apparently putting your own money on the line is becoming a trend in motivating people toward better eating habits.
Motivation is one of the most difficult issues to deal with when you struggle with any kind of mental illness. When the chemistry in your brain is off even a little, making small adjustments - even though they would make your life better - can seem impossible. This can be frustrating for the person trying to make the change as well as loved ones who are trying to support the person in the process.
As a pastor, I talk a lot about faith and God and eternity, but I will also be the first to admit that when I talk with someone who struggles with depression and suicidal ideations, sometimes those concepts fall short of motivating them toward health. My faith is a motivating factor in my life, but I cannot presume that it is for everyone. My faith is also a strong foundation upon which I have built my life, but, again, that does not mean it is for everyone. I can never try to force my faith to be a motivating factor for another person.
So how can a faith community support someone who is struggling? The simplest way is to begin by listening to the person and finding what might motivate them to get through one more day. That means I have to set aside my motivations and listen for theirs.
The best way I have found to determine a person’s motivation is to ask them what is worth enduring discomfort to attain? What would need to be waiting for me in order to endure six more hours of my pain and sadness? Ten hours? Twenty-four hours?
Often, finding that motivating factor ends up being important, but not nearly as important as taking the time to listen to the person who is struggling and talking to them about what is important to them. That small act can go a long way in helping them find hope in the midst of struggle.
Simply taking the time to listen may seem insignificant, but it is a “sure bet” for helping someone find the motivation to keep going.
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