Ecclesiastes 6

If any of you know me, you know that 2 years ago my father died from Multple Sclerosis. The last decade of his life he was almost completely bed-ridden and needed help with everything. It was one of the most disheartening experiences in my life to watch him deteriorate. I would not wish that on anyone. My mom had it the worst. She cared for him in the most loving and devoted way possible - even when she knew that he could never return the favor.

I bring this up because as I read this chapter of Ecclesiastes, I recognize that I, too, have often wondered why God let my dad live (if that is what you can call that) through those years of hell. I often echoed the words of the king here:

"For who knows what is good for people in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow?" (6:12)

Many of my dad's days seemed meaningless. Yet, as I reflect back, I realize that my dad's existence - even during those days - was far from meaningless. He brought a joy to my life (and everyone else he came in conact with!) that I never would have experienced without that last decade. I came to know God in suffering as well as prosperity. I came to see God's presence in every circumstance and life. I came to see that when our meaning and significance lies outside ourselves, we can truly be conduits of God's grace no matter what our circumstances, health, or economic standing.

I found in my dying dad, life.

I hope you can find life in everyone you meet and I hope you can offer life to everyone you meet.

Under the Mercy,
Jason

Dying to Self

I was sitting in the Delaware County Ministerial Association yesterday. I looked around the room and started thinking about what I needed to do to really be a spiritual mentor/shepherd in this community. The men and women sitting around the table were all great people. As far as I know they are all amazing pastors for their communities. I started wondering what was different between them and me.

After a few minutes of pondering this, a verse came to mind:

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wnats to save their life must lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for you to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit your very soul. If any of you are ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of you when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. (Luke 9:23-27 TNIV)

I realized that I still needed to die to my self if I was going to become what God was calling me to become. If I was going to truly be a prophetic voice in this community, I needed to let go of my own identity and truly allow God to start shaping my identity. I have held on much too tightly to my vision of who I want to be.

There is so much more that I want to say, but you won't read much more and I don't really have the words to express what the Spirit is trying to teach me (maybe I haven't learned it yet).

The bottom line is this...I am starting to dive a little deeper into what Jesus meant by these words in Luke 9. As I understand more and can express it, I will.

Under the Mercy,
Jason