This person's (loving and gentle) push back on my statement was that the Bible never tells us to "forgive ourselves." In writing my response, I had to think through the concept quite a bit. While it probably boils down to semantics (forgiving ourselves or accepting God's forgiveness and therefore not living in guilt in shame might simply be 2 ways of saying the same thing), I wanted to post some of my own thought process on the topic. I hope you think through some of this as well.
(This is an email reply. I have tried to edit it so that you don't feel like you are walking in on a telephone call, but my apologies if I have missed something).
I agree that you won't find the words "forgive yourself" in Scripture, however, I do think that it is a Biblical concept to release yourself from false guilt and shame. The reality of grace is that we have been forgiven by God and our sins are no longer held against us. Too often Christians (especially ones that grew up in a guilt-ridden community) feel like they are supposed to live in guilt and shame - they call this humility.
Ephesians 4:32 says that we are to forgive one another. I think there is some authority and power within Christians to forgive - not ultimately for salvation, but within the Kingdom of God we are image bearers of God and therefore must reflect God's actions...one of which is forgiving. Colossians 3:13 says the same thing, adding "forgive as the Lord forgave you." If I have no authority to forgive, how can I forgive AS THE LORD FORGAVE ME?
Maybe this is all semantics, but I think we can withhold forgiveness and it has an effect on others (or even ourselves). This is not pride, this is simply the way we were created to live in relationship. Maybe what you are calling accepting God's forgiveness is really the same as what I am calling forgiving ourselves.
I am wrestling with the mixing of psychology and theology. They often come from different starting points and even have different goals. When you mix the two improperly, I have seen a lot of damage done to Christians. Guilt is a powerful motivator, but it destroys those it motivates. Too many "Christian" psychologists are using guilt to motivate. On the flip side, too many "Christian" psychologists are rejecting the sinfulness of humanity and are not allowing people's conscience to convict them. I don't know what the exact right mix is. I really struggle in my teaching as I try to unwrap the "mystery" of God which He destined for our glory (see 1 Cor. 2:7) while remembering that the wisdom of this world is coming to nothing (1 Cor. 2:6). In a culture of self-help, psycho-babble, teaching people that they are the spotless Bride of Christ for whom Christ is passionately in love while teaching humility and servitude can be a difficult line to walk.
Thanks for engaging God's Word and thinking about your life in Christ beyond Sunday morning! It reminds me that Terra Nova might be doing some things right...
Under the Mercy,
Jason
1 comment:
Jason,
What you said about grace really struck a chord with me as it relates to forgiving ourselves. Often, I think we are the most critical judges of ourselves and the most unwilling to accept grace for ourselves. I think in order to have a deeper understanding of grace, we must know what it is to experience forgiveness in its fullest- which means forgiving ourselves. I'll speak from personal experience here; when I learned to forgive myself, I was able to live a life of increased freedom. I have the freedom to talk about the lessons I learned from whatever I needed forgiveness and tell my story of how Jesus transformed my life. When we first experience forgiveness within ourselves, we are then able to extend it to others in a deeper way than if we tried forgiving others while still believing ourselves unworthy of forgiveness.
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