Tomorrow I take Thing 1 (Maddy) to camp. My wife has been packing for her for 2 days. I can't tell you how thankful I am for my wife right now! Maddy has everything she will need. She has several contingency items. She is totally prepared to face a week away from mom and dad.
Now if only we were ready to face a week away from her!
I love my daughter dearly. I would do almost anything for her. I probably do too much for her. But I really thought (a while ago) that I would happy to have her gone for a week. She is, honestly, a handful. But now that I know tomorrow I will make that 3-hour drive to camp...I'm not so sure.
I don't want to turn people off by talking too much about parenting, but it is the context out of which I live - so get over it for a minute.
As I think about how much I'm going to miss that little booger, I have to admit I feel a little happy to know that if I could miss my daughter this much - so that she can do something fun and good for her - how much more does my Heavenly Father miss me when I don't spend time with Him?
I'm not upset that Maddy is leaving for a week. I won't be upset if she doesn't write or call or make any attempt to contact me. I will give her the biggest hug she has ever had in her life when I go pick her up Friday! It doesn't matter how many times she wrote me or called...she is going to get a huge hug.
I have a feeling God is like that. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last attempted to contact Him, He is ready to give you a bear hug. He isn't counting the days between prayers, He is just dying to give you another hug. And I use the word "dying" on purpose.
I struggle to stay focused long enough to pray and study like I think I should. I am distracted, busy, and often tired. Those aren't excuses, they are reasons I don't do what I really want to do. I need to overcome them, but not because God is keeping score. I need to overcome them because that hug sounds really good right now.
(Click here for our "Hugs" video)
Under the Mercy,
Jason
1 comment:
I so appreciate your terminology and caring expression of the jumble of feelings that go with being a parent. Pastoring and parenting are a lot a like. Stewarding of any sort is a lot like parenting. It is reassuring to know that God does not have a jumble of feelings, much less conflicted feelings, about us. I gain peace and steadiness in all I do when I remember that God is always, all ways, steady and in Love. I can discard what may be confusing, conflicting, fearful, or disturbing 'cause probably that did not come from God. At best those things come from my attempts to understand and live consistent with God's steadiness.
My husband and I will be at the Mean Bean tonight at 6, coming to Terra Nova for the first time.
Thank you for all you provide.
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